The anatomy of failure

I have been wanting to write about this for a long time. This one is in the series of posts of self-reflection. By putting down whatever I do here, I hope to change and improve.

What is failure? What constitutes it? Failure is a condition of under-achievement: a feeling of not having done what you intended to or wanted to. I think wanting to do something and not being able to do is a better definition rather than intending to do something and not being able to do so.

There can be many reasons why people fail. The obvious one is that the goal they set for themselves is far beyond what they are capable of. This is failure by design. The system is structured for failure. You cannot be born in India and hope to be the President of the United States.

Failure by design is caused by bad judgements of goals and expectations. Such types of failures can be corrected by realigning goals and wants - the familiar expectation setting. Some people might be of the type who purposely set stretched, unattainable goals for themselves. This is a good strategy for people who know how to deal with it.

The other and more important type of failure is failure by choice. Some people just choose to fail. It is not because of the goals being stretched or their skills being inadequate. It is this nature of failure I personally want to avoid. Currently, there is an overwhelming feeling inside me that I will end up failing because I choose to fail. And the choice is not something I make consciously.

Why does this happen? I think the primary reason is a lack of confidence. It is a feeling inside which says 'success is not for me... I am meant to fail.' It is hard not to succumb to such a feeling when it is strong and sub-conscious. I am not saying that I have succumbed completely; but every now and then, I do believe (and believe very strongly) that success is not for me.

The whole proposition is very silly given that there is no basis for such a feeling. This is the exact logical way I am taking to fight my way out. If there are tendencies which my mind can take for an uncertain event, I might as well tend towards believing in success rather than in failure.

But believing in failure is the very essence of pessimism. It is something that (unfortunately) is a part of me.